Hi guys, i know i have left this website for a very long time but i plan to use it more often now! I'm not sure where i'm going with this blog yet but today i just want to share an experience I recently went through. I hope everyone has been well since my last update. lol.

Expecting people to know how you feel..

Where do i even begin with this...

Most of the time we like to make a lot of vows when we're happy but when we're sad we break these vows. Our emotional stress levels start to run high and next thing you know you're trying so hard to make everything work instead of letting it flow naturally.

I like to think that I've got everything under control sometimes. Scratch that, most of the time! Once that fear of letting go of the control creeps in all i can hear are emergency bells coming from everywhere and then, it gets to you.You start hurting yourself and everyone around you. You realize you're fucked. As soon as it's over, you start hating yourself for reaching up to that boiling point and then you think you're screwed for life and etc.

The guilt, that remorseful feeling it will always be in you if you let it.  Such a negative and hurtful way to carry yourself.  We expect to love and be loved but how do you love when you do not heal the wounds of letting your fears go?

How?

 For years, I've been wondering when will i ever find happiness. Like genuine happiness guys. Not the kind where you get roses for valentines but real happiness. The 'happy to be alive' kind of happiness.

Content, forgiving, effortless kind of happiness.

I thought I've come to it to be honest.
Everything i ever wanted was right there in my face and I still couldn't see it. I was pressured by my own demons to strive harder instead i was just trying hard.Next thing you know you begin to lose yourself.

Faced by my own demons and overwhelmed by the amount of goodness(also stress) that was given to me. I tried to battle against them and they were winning this battle for sure and before you know it, circumstances change. To those who I've hurt in the process i am sorry.

I decided i was not going let my demons win this time.
I couldn't stand letting it conquer me anymore. So I faced it.

I've been liberated.

If you're like me I am blessed to have such kind, funny and amazing people in my life.
So i have been healing myself in such an honest way.
It almost feels like i can see the light.

So my friend told me to start a private blog where I kind of just type about how i feel every time i feel anxious. Let me tell you this, 25 years of my living I have never felt so liberated. I can see how I finally get to learn myself more and how I respond to things. I am healing my way in. My thoughts are more organised, my mood becomes better, my expectations become lower and my response become gentle. I am finally developing inside as a human being in a positive way.

I guess the point of this post is don't let your fears get the best of you. You are your own person. Act to what your heart desires in good faith and that negativity in you, release it in a good way. Find something to release the pressure out of your life if anyone is going through the same shoes.

You deserve to live and be happy just like everybody else. Be kind without expecting like the world owes you for anything. Most importantly, love yourself and love others. Life will always have its challenges. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Face it with courage and consistency. Stop pressuring yourself and let everything flow naturally. Let go of the fear. Be the storm in your life. Positivity is key. Something i should have said to myself a long time ago and actually practice it.

I guess i have found my eat.pray.love. guys! well, there's still a lot to learn, challenges and wisdom to search but I'm content that I've reached this point. Never let life get the best of you and in the name of Katy Perry 'cause babyyy you're a fireworrrrk!'

I apologize if this was a personal post and not fashion related. This was meant for my private blog but i thought i could share it here instead. But lives are important, if there is anyone out there who are in need of some soul searching experiences. This is my truth and I hope this helps. Have a good week everyone.

Lots of love,

bunnyboo